Not sure how many times we have to repeat that it's about giving not receiving. We knew aunty would love her coat and she really did but mum still can't keep quiet about why we bought it. Aunty bought mum a lovely blanket for her feet, she feels the cold so can wrap it round her legs in the evening. Mum can't remember who gave her what so that has been a bit repetitive as well.
Mum's brain has been completely rewired, nothing is the same in the way she looks at things or considers things. We have noticed that the tablets don't really seem to be working, she seems to be getting worse faster than we had expected.
Part of her personality was her bossiness, her absolute assumption she was always right and if anyone raised a contrary point or objection her comment would be "well I will just shut up and never say anything again". Her reaction was quite childish in a way but as she remained unchallenged for so long it was a habit.
I now challenge, argue, disagree. it is a sense of freedom for me because I no longer care that she will lash out, I will put my alternative point across and stick to it. She now calls me the bossy one and always right, so I agree and tell her I am a chip off the old block and a product of her influence. Not sure how she takes it, probably as a compliment.