Losing a husband
Dad didn't get better. The treatment just didn't agree with him and didn't seem to be working. Finally he was so bad I had to take him to A&E, I won't go in to how hard it was to get some help or advice that morning. The GP's would have taken too long to see him, the cancer team at QA had no advice but to go to A&E.
Dad was in hospital for about 4 weeks, tests showing that the cancer was no longer treatable and palliative care was all they could offer. He was discharged to a nursing home in May which he hated, but at least it was only a short walk from their house so mum could come and go very easily.
It was all so very unreal, this lovely fit man just wasting away. Still we didn't talk, we weren't used to it, he wasn't used to it. I hope that he and mum did do some talking while I wasn't there.
The staff and team at the home were very kind, they have done the best they can to help this incredibly proud man feel comfortable.
We have been on autopilot, still not quite believing this was happening and that he was going to die. It's all been a bit of a blur, work, visiting, chatting about stupid inane things when I should have been talking hm something more meaningful. We fussed over his pillows, bought god knows how many duvets because nothing was quite right, too hot, too cold.
We had booked a holiday to Malta and arranged for mums brothers to be with her while we were away. The insurance doesn't cater for this kind of situation, they don't allow you to include cover for a relative that has been diagnosed with cancer. After much agonising we decided to go, if needed we could get home fairly quickly. I remember when mum was having her chemo dad went on a biking holiday with his club leaving me to look after the injections and making sure she was eating properly. So, with that in mind he would be saying to go and not to worry about what was going on at home. Having mums brothers around was good for her, she had someone else to talk to, someone to reminisce with about when they were young.
As it turns out we did have to fly home, we arrived back late evening, dad has died a few hours earlier. I don't think he would have wanted me there, it has always been him and mum so probably just the way it should be.
I dealt with everything, registration, funeral, catering, phoning and emailing family and friends. Mum was along side me and we tried to make decisions together, we were going through the motions still not thinking it was real.
Dad was in hospital for about 4 weeks, tests showing that the cancer was no longer treatable and palliative care was all they could offer. He was discharged to a nursing home in May which he hated, but at least it was only a short walk from their house so mum could come and go very easily.
It was all so very unreal, this lovely fit man just wasting away. Still we didn't talk, we weren't used to it, he wasn't used to it. I hope that he and mum did do some talking while I wasn't there.
The staff and team at the home were very kind, they have done the best they can to help this incredibly proud man feel comfortable.
We have been on autopilot, still not quite believing this was happening and that he was going to die. It's all been a bit of a blur, work, visiting, chatting about stupid inane things when I should have been talking hm something more meaningful. We fussed over his pillows, bought god knows how many duvets because nothing was quite right, too hot, too cold.
We had booked a holiday to Malta and arranged for mums brothers to be with her while we were away. The insurance doesn't cater for this kind of situation, they don't allow you to include cover for a relative that has been diagnosed with cancer. After much agonising we decided to go, if needed we could get home fairly quickly. I remember when mum was having her chemo dad went on a biking holiday with his club leaving me to look after the injections and making sure she was eating properly. So, with that in mind he would be saying to go and not to worry about what was going on at home. Having mums brothers around was good for her, she had someone else to talk to, someone to reminisce with about when they were young.
As it turns out we did have to fly home, we arrived back late evening, dad has died a few hours earlier. I don't think he would have wanted me there, it has always been him and mum so probably just the way it should be.
I dealt with everything, registration, funeral, catering, phoning and emailing family and friends. Mum was along side me and we tried to make decisions together, we were going through the motions still not thinking it was real.